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A few moments with Jizmak Da Gusha...

METAL PULP AND PAPER:
Hello Jizmak Da Gusha. So glad to be catching up with you. Thank you for taking the time to answer some questions for Metal Pulp And Paper. We appreciate it. 
So how are things going so far for you and the intergalactic metal overlords GWAR
 
JIZMAK DA GUSHA: Terrible! The humans are stealing GWAR's thunder as the sickest being on the planet. We are barely in the top 5 after the presidential election. So, we are going on tour to slaughter the syphilitic masses of this putrid country and reclaim the throne. 
 
MPAP: It was a great summer for all your fans, GWAR was a part of the 2017 Vans Warped Tour, and also a date was announced for GWAR’s 14th studio release, The Blood Of Gods (Metal Blade Records). Before we talk about the new album, let’s talk about your latest tour that wrapped up in Pomona, California on August 6th? After spilling blood across the stages of 39 cities how was the Warped Tour?  
 
JIZMAK: Warped Tour did us good. Summer vacation. Got a little sun. It was good to be back on the road corrupting the minds of the youth and taking a steaming dump on every town in America. Laying a steaming pile on a hot parking lot is a good way to mark your territory. 
 
MPAP: Is there anything from the traveling rock festival that you learned and can take back home? Anything on that journey across the States that you can be proud of?  
 
JIZMAK: Nothing whatsoever. Wear sunscreen.  
 
MPAP: How many non-suspecting innocent people are now traumatized from watching GWAR and may have some sort of venereal disease? 
 
JIZMAK: What do I care. Ask them. We had some good-sized death orgies, so hopefully enough mindless minions will pack the shows on our fall tour.  
 
MPAP: GWAR is used to creating all its debauchery inside venues after dark. What was it like playing in the daylight hours outside on all the shows? 
 
JIZMAK: In the daylight, you can see the wart incrusted barnacles on Blothars Utter sack. That's gross. Medics thought kids were passing out from heat exhaustion but it was actually his bag of dicks.  
 
MPAP: Ok, enough of that, let’s get down to the meat and potatoes of this interview, the brass tacks if you will. Your fans, the bohabs, are excited and eager for this. Back in May 2016, it was announced that GWAR was working on a new album, a follow-up to Battle Maximus released back in 2013. That day will soon be upon us, October 20th. How stoked are you to releasing The Blood Of Gods, which will appease all your maniac fans thirst for something new? 
 
JIZMAK: I play music for me. I'm not so concerned of what anyone else thinks. This record is like no other GWAR has ever made. Guaranteed to burn your house down on the first play. Buy or Die!!! 
 
MPAP: This will be a first release without founding member and longtime vocalist Oderus Urungus. How hard will this, or how hard has it been, to go on and make new music without him being a part of it? 
 
JIZMAK: Oderus would be proud of this record. It was essential for us to make it in his honor and prove that GWAR can never die.  
 
MPAP: On the first date of the Warped Tour (June 16th) in Seattle, Washington GWAR debuted a new song, "Fuck This Place", which is dedicated to Oderus. What else can you tell us about The Blood Of Gods?  
 
JIZMAK: I like to encourage the method of buying the record, listening to it and formulating your own opinions about the music. It's kind of a lost art. I guess you could just let Facebook tell you what to think.  
 
MPAP: What about your long-time manager who taught you all how to play your instruments and got the band addicted to crack, Sleazy P. Martini? Will he finally dust off the mothballs and make an appearance on the new release? It’s been since 2006s Beyond Hell release that he was the last part of? 
 
JIZMAK: No. He's too busy counting money and planning our tour.  
 
MPAP: Also, word around the campfire is Sleazy P. and the Sexecutioner might be a part of the next tour? Can you shed any light into this? Is it true? 
 
JIZMAK: Not true but they have been known to surprise us with random crack cocaine inspections during our tours. New York is where you get the best shit. Just saying.  
 
MPAP: Here’s a random and useless fact taken from Wikipedia. When looking up the band GWAR, it also says not to be confused with Guar (Cyamopsis tetragonolobus), which is an annual legume. The scientific name, Cyamopsis tetragonolobus sounds like a sexual disease one might have gotten after attending last year’s Gwar-B-Q doesn’t it? 
 
JIZMAK: Yes, it is a sexual disease created by GWAR. I like how you answer the question for me. This is easy.  
 
MPAP: Anyways, enough of that stupidity, back to our interview. Over the years, GWAR has expanded their franchise into comic books, trading cards, a board game, signature beers, barbecue sauces, and e-liquids. What’s next?  
 
JIZMAK: We are going to start printing money.  
 
MPAP: How soon until you think Gene Simmons of the rock band Kiss catches the foul wind of this and tells you to back off putting your name on everything like he does? 
 
JIZMAK: Boring! 
 
MPAP: Speaking of Gene Simmons, he seems to open his big mouth for stupid reasons. He’s said in the past that Rock and Roll is dead, or he did the devil horns hand gesture first and was even to go as far as putting a patent on it, which raised a big stink with everyone because the late Ronnie James Dio did it first. Even more recently in the news, he’s saying the music business is dead because the fans won’t pay for music? What are your thoughts on him, this, and could you please at your next show get him on stage and tear his head off? 
 
JIZMAK: Falling asleep! 
 
MPAP: Speaking of heads, GWAR recently called out Kathy Griffin for her controversial photo shoot, which depicted her holding a severed head of President Trump. It’s old news now, but what about her lawyer not being able to pronounce GWAR correctly, instead, only saying the letters, G, W, A, R. Maybe you need to bring her up on stage and everyone can teach her how to say it correctly? 
 
JIZMAK: No. Next stupid question.  
 
MPAP: On behalf of myself and Metal Pulp And Paper, I’d like to thank you, Jizmak, for spending some time with us. Look forward to hearing The Blood Of Gods and what GWAR does to finish out 2017 and beyond. GWAR's North America Tour starts October 20th at The National in Richmond, Virginia and finishes up December 10th in Detroit, Michigan. Any last words for your scumdog fans out there? 
 
JIZMAK: Don't read interviews. Come out and see GWAR for yourself! Hail Oderus!!! 
                       

        

                                  

            

             


                                             
                                     
                     
 

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