Music News Headline Answers With Dirty Cake's Charley Tichenor... And A Special Guest November 28th, 2019
Metal Pulp And Paper: Thank you, Charley, for taking the time to be a part of Metal Pulp And Paper’s 3rd installment of Recent Music News Headline Questions. How are you? Charley Tichenor: Fucking awesome, thanks for asking. I'm here with my girl Allie, from Bummed Out.
Allie from Bummed Out:I too am well, thank you for asking me directly, Geoff.
MPAP: Before we get started though, tell us a little about your band or what you do in the music industry. And, of course,if you’ve got new music, or new music coming out soon, please tell us about it.
Charley: We are Dirty Cakes, we play Rock and Roll, dig! Becky is an OG member of the Lunachicks, Rick was a player in the English Beat, and Charley is a punk from DC. We are working at Rancho de la Luna, finishing a record with Dave Catching and Jon Russo. A 7” and a 12” record and music videos are coming soon.
MPAP: So, just in case you or the reader are new to this, and to make sure everyone is on the same page on how this works, we’ve pulled some recent music news headlines from the Metal Injection website and turned them into questions and get your answers and reactions. We’ve been doing this for a couple of months now, with different headlines each time, and it has been fun to read everyone’s answers so far. So, once again, please place seat backs and tray tables in the upright position, hang on, here we go. 1. Real Housewife Wearing Metallica Shirt Asked To Name 3 Of Their Songs, She Cannot
MPAP: Some talk show, on the Bravo! channel had The Real Housewives of Potomac star Candiace Dillard as a guest. She was wearing a Metallica’s Lady Liberty, ‘And Justice For All’ shirt, and a caller called into the show and asked the host of it if Candice could name three songs by Metallica. She pretty much had no clue who the band was, and obviously, she couldn’t name three songs by them either. Do you believe if you wear the band’s shirt, you should at least know maybe who the group is?
Charley: Anyone who cred-checks a woman for wearing a band shirt is a total jackass. You can buy Misfits threads at Hot Topic or Target, Saks on 5th is slingin Iron Maiden backpatches on denim, just yards from bougie sport coats and blue suede oxfords from some Italian mammajamma who’s name I’ll never be able to pronounce. Now I’ll never cough up that kind of cash for some Eddie on the back of a Levi’s, but if I wanna look fly as fuck... I’m sure as hell not ruling out those oxfords. My point is, context, if some millionaire wants to rock some heavy metal duds on national tv... well hey, maybe that’s a good thing for music en masse. I don’t know fuck all about the finer points of the Strauss family, but I sure love their button fly.
Allie: Nice Bummed Out shirt. Can you name three of our songs? 2. Mosh Pit & Wall Of Death Break Out During The Village People’s Set At Riot Fest
MPAP: You would have never really expected something like this too of happened now, would you? And to be honest, I didn’t know The Village People were still together and performing, but they are. That just shows you metal music fans can always have fun even if it is moshing to songs like "Y.M.C.A.," or "Macho Man" by The Village People at a music festival. Now, what is something you’ve seen happen while performing, or while at a show that you weren’t expecting to see or have occurred?
Charley: This one takes the cake... Becky was in the Lunachicks back in the day, and in ‘92 they played the Redding Festival with L7, Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, etc. Anyway, Donita Sparks threw her tampon at the crowd. In the Pretend We’re Dead film, you can see Becky in her Ducati jacket heckling the crowd for throwing mud right before Donita hit em with the goods.
Allie: Did you ever see Tragedy, the all Metal Bee Gees tribute band? The best Bee Gees cover band in the tri-state area. Disco has a place in Metal. 3. Reminder: Metallica Will Never Play The Super Bowl
MPAP: Every year when the Super Bowl announces who is going to be their half time show, metal music fans are pissed off because it’s never a metal band or even a hard-rock band for that matter. For almost five years fans have wanted Metallica to host the Super Bowl halftime show. Fans also started a petition to get them to play at the 50th Super Bowl halftime show in 2015. Metallica would be an excellent choice to be a part of it, they’ve won Grammy awards, they are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and have toured just about everywhere in the World, and just recently they were named the World’s biggest touring act. What are your thoughts on this? Why do you think metal music is always going to get snubbed at the Super Bowl?
Charley: Good Heavy Metal has always invoked higher powers, doing the Lords work as it were. Now, whether that’s forces above or below, is all up to the folks from Sweden or Stryper. But maybe it isn’t about Heavy Metal, maybe it’s about the people. I sincerely doubt the NFL would turn down an offer from Bruce Dickinson.
Allie: Besides there’s enough whining in football from Browns fans, we don’t need Lars on stage. 4.Slipknot’s Corey Taylor Doesn’t Believe Drugs & Alcohol Makes You Write Better Music
MPAP: What are your thoughts? Do you think drugs and alcohol bring out the creativity in a musician or can kill it?
Allie: That's the most concise question you’ve asked yet, are you high right now?
Charley: Every artist has a method. I’d bet the farm that Sgt. Peppers was written in a different level of intoxication than anything Ian MacKaye ever did. 5. Steel Panther Frontman: If I Could Bring One Musician Back From The Dead, It’d Be Motley Crue’s Vince Neil
MPAP: This headline started some mudslinging between both of the bands because obviously, Vince Neil isn’t dead; he’s just a bit overweight and can’t sing like he used to be able to do as he did in the 80s and 90s. I don’t see them ever going out on tour together anytime soon, but anyway, if you could bring any musician back from the dead, who would you choose, and why?
Charley: Short answer, Hendrix... It's a damn shame those German amphetamines never showed up. 6.Green Jelly Track Down Deadbeat Promoter And Get Paid
MPAP: A promoter stiffs Green Jelly after they performed at Old East 765 Bar & Grill in Canada, and vocalist Bill Manspeaker, as he states in his cellphone video made looking for Marcus the promoter, ‘I ain’t the guy to fuck with.’ So, the band tracks down the promoter and finds his home and demands the money owed to them. It’s funny to watch because at one-point Manspeaker is knocking on his door, saying, “Little pig, little pig, let me in.” In the end, Marcus ends up paying the band half of what money was owed to them, but at least he walked away with kneecaps still in place. So, has anything like this happened to you before, and would you do something like this?
Charley: Never met a band that didn’t get stiffed, but having the gusto or character to chase down the man at his home... well, mazel tov to them.
Allie: I’m getting paid for this.... right? 7.Morbid Angel & Obituary Featured As An Answer On Jeopardy!
MPAP: Jeopardy has featured answers on other episodes about popular metal bands such as Megadeth, Rob Zombie, and Five Finger Death Punch, but never had any answers quite like this one. One of the writers on the hit television show has to be a metalhead for sure! So, in case you missed this episode, Alex Trebek said, 'Morbid Angel and Obituary are popular bands in this genre,' and contestant Dhruv Gaur answered with 'What is Death Metal.' Pretty cool when things like this are showing up on a popular television show. Now, if you or your band were to be mentioned on Jeopardy, what would the answer and question be? Let’s see how creative you are.
Charley: I have three TVs in my house that I mounted on the wall! Jeopardy is on TV!” (Allie definitely didn’t write this.)
Allie: Answer: This band’s front man has been known to have long winded rants and ramble on almost as much as Geoff from Metal pulp And Paper’s interview questions. Question: What is Dirty Cakes! 8. Oops! Stadium Accidentally Leaves Ramstein Song Blasting All Night, Annoying Neighbors
MPAP: Someone at Budapest’s Puksas Arena just happened to leave the sound system on blasting the song "Deutschland" all night long, over and over. It’s an open-air stadium that’s under construction, so the loud music bothered all that lived nearby. That worker should have had a bigger playlist than just the one song; maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad then, right? So, since the subject of the headline is about something that annoyed people, let’s find out from you; what annoys you, whether it’s out on the road, at a show, in the recording studio, or even when you’re at home, what annoy's you the most?
Charley: #1 with a bullet, optional self-victimization.
Allie: Did you just call me fat? 9. Tool Threatening To Eject Fans From Shows If They’re Caught Using Their Phones
MPAP: Once again, cellphone use at concerts makes the headlines. If you don’t remember, but a couple of years ago during a performance of Maynard’s other band A Perfect Circle, 60 people were kicked out for filming the show with their phones. And even Jack White (The White Stripes) has a no cell phone policy at his shows. So, what’s your take on it? Are cellphones that much of a distraction to where the fan should be kicked out? Do fans need to watch the show instead of looking at their phones? Does it even matter since they paid for their ticket already?
Charley: We stand for freedom and against censorship. Maynard has a hell of a way of making demands of his audience, at least Jack White puts the policy on the door. We love when people take pics at shows, some people aren’t above that. We love videos even more! Without fans sharing their experience, all we’d have is fables and rumor.
Allie: Do you know what it’s like living with a guy who watches every second of footage posted of his band for days after each show? Censor these motherfuckera! PS... do you also take photos? Bummed Out’s playing December 22nd. 10. Windhand Robbed In Houston, Posts List Of Stolen Gear & Belongings
MPAP: This happens way too often, it seems. It’s hard enough to make a living being a musician, and then you have a douchebag, or douchebags, break into your trailer or van and steal all your stuff while you’re out on the road. So, when you are out on tour, what extra precautions have you taken so that this hopefully doesn’t happen to you?
Charley: You have to be careful, it’s a tragedy when these things happen. Parking in the light, unloading unsecured items, staying in residential areas when possible.
Allie: If you sleep in your van, then you’re always with your stuff! Maybe I’m just a broke musician from Western Massachusetts though... oh, and if I had money, I’d bring a broke friend from Western MA to sleep in the van. 11.Machine Head Show Paused, Partially Ruined After Fan Throws Beer On The Soundboard
MPAP: This happened at a show at the O2 Academy Brixton in London, England, and a fan, more like an asshole, threw a 32-ounce beer on the soundboard. After a 20-minute delay, Machine Head was able to finish the show, but not with the highest quality sound after that. First off, what a dick move to do something like that, almost ruining it for a sold-out crowd, and second, I’m sure soundboards aren't cheap, and third, who throws a 32-ounce full beer? I don’t know what beer costs there in London, but in the US, a beer that size would cost more than likely $30. So, what a waste to throw a beer. Anyways, has this ever happened to you where you saw something was thrown from the crowd, and it abruptly stopped the show for a while, and what happened?
Charley: You know the Foo Fighters stopped playing "Big Me" for about ten years because it was always just a fucking scene every time, they started into it. So, about a decade later they finally decided to play this song once, and they were going to set a stick of Mentos on fire to make sure that they drove home the point. Well lo and behold nobody in the band had a lighter on them on stage and Dave looked back to Taylor and asked, hey man anybody got a lighter. He turned towards the crowd and 10,000 lighters came pouring in from every corner of the entirety of the amphitheater with enough veracity to block out the sun.
Allie: Where I’m from, people would literally spit beer on the bands they loved, not only spraying equipment with beer, but also spit. I one time watched my bandmate’s girlfriend go to splash beer on the band after us (my ex-boyfriend’s band actually) and her pint glass went with the splash and cracked perfectly across his forehead and he kept playing. I wasn’t sure whether to be stoked someone threw her beer at my ex or whether to marvel at how his head cracked a glass without even a scratch. Also... do you think someone throwing a 32-ounce beer was sober enough to make smart decisions? 12. Australia To Shut Down Highway For AC/DC Tribute Bands In 2020
MPAP: How cool is this? On February 19th, 2020, marks the 40th anniversary of vocalist Bon Scott’s death, and the city of Perth is celebrating by shutting down six miles of the Canning Highway to celebrate so AC/DC tribute bands playing live on slow-moving trailers can drive through like a festival parade. In your hometown, what would you like the city to shut down for you or your band so everyone can celebrate?
Charley: Well I’m from D.C., I’d shut down this Faux-GOP traitorous regime. That would be cause for quite the celebration.
Allie: Aren’t those called snow days? We had them a number of times a year. 13. Brazilian Researcher Names New Spider Species After Iron Maiden, Scorpions, & Angra Members
MPAP: Christina Rheims is a researcher in Sao Paulo, Brazil, and recently discovered four new spider species and happens to be a big fan of heavy metal music. Can’t get any better than that. She named the four new species Extraordinarius bruceickinsoni, Extraordinarius klausmeinei, Extraordinarius rickalleni and Extraordinarius andrematosi, after Iron Maiden's vocalist Bruce Dickinson, Scorpions vocalist Klaus Meine, Def Leppard's drummer Rick Allen, and Angra's vocalist Andre Matos. If she happens to find another species of spiders and you’re next in line to be named after, what would you wanted the spider’s scientific name to be?
Charley: I’d name him Geoff.
Allie: So, does that mean that the Extraordinarius rickalleni only have seven legs?
Charley: That’s fucked up... you got me in Hysteria.
Allie: You’re right, Jeff is a great name for a spider.
Charley: You're bumming me out.
Allie: I’m good at what I do.
James from Kansas City: You’re welcome. MPAP: Those are some great answers. On behalf of Metal Pulp And Paper, I’d like to thank you, Charley, and of course, Allie, for taking the time to answer these recent music news headline questions. We look forward to what you or your bands, Dirty Cakes and Bummed Out, does to finish out 2019 and beyond. Any last words for all your fans out there?
James from Kansas City: Wait who is Dirty Cakes? Where are the donuts? And why did this take so long? May the gods of rock smile upon thee... and I agree... Jeph is a really nice name for a spider.
*The opinions expressed in the proceeding do not necessarily reflect those of the employees or cast and crew of Beakman’s World.